Admittedly I am lost in the blog maze. I can not really navigate this enough now to look so far back at the previous posts. So lets go back to love and CHANGES. The birth of my son Christian gave me a love like i had never know, and CHANGED everything in life. Nothing that was important before was as important as he was. Maternal instinct and love is profound, intense and deeply binding. Something that you never loose until the day YOU die. Not if your child passes before you — but until the day YOU die. When you are handed your new born child for the first time you hold a beautiful soul that is the PUREST FORM OF LIFE. Knowing nothing of pain or ugliness, or anger. A tiny being that immediately has excepted you because of a bond that was set forth in the womb. From there on your life will never be the same. Thus starts A Beautiful life.

UNDER SIEGE—THE WORLD IS IN A PANDEMIC THE LIKES THAT NO ONE COULD IMAGINE!!! Guarding our very beings is mandatory as we currently stay sheltered in our homes. Businesses have closed. Groceries are in a shortage and we are at what the true meaning of having what we need And not what we want. A survivalist by nature i am accustom to managing how to get by with very little. That also includes human contact.

Our minds are so powerful. They can heal us, break us, weaken us or make us determined and strong. While the whole world hasn’t been house bound just yet — we are not far from it. My daughter said it well, that if you think this is bad —you can only imagine communism or socialism. Thank God for our country.

I consider myself an excellent communicator. My original nail salon of 25 years ago taught me that skill.

Today —our society has let us get by with disregarding life lessons from those before us. My grandmother passed 3 years ago at one month shy of 101. Her childhood memories were of a simpler time. Raising their own food, canning it and eating simple basic meals from home made recipes. Their hands forged what they grew, what they prepared and what they ate.

Our way of life now gives us processed foods, fast food, and larger quantity of food. Nearly gluttonous for everyone of us, except the very disciplined.

Where did the 24 inch waist of the 50’s go—well cupcakes:) straight to our waists. A standard women’s day was cleaning and then cleaning the house again. Women burned those inches away. Meals were smaller in portion—modest by todays standards. One slice of meat ,one scoop of potatoes, and another vegetable. No chips by the handful or bagful. Even baked goods like pie were made at home occasionally for a TREAT!!!

Need a look back—watch an episode of Andy Griffith and see Aunt Bea’s wonderful meal.

Therefore wants and needs are most different. And for a fact of matter so are we.

Let us take a step back in time and eat modestly at the FAMILY TABLE. SHARE STORIES OF OUR LIVES AND DAYS. COMMUNICATE FACE TO FACE AND ONE ON ONE. Recognize human facial expression. Know that behind that cell phone or iPad is A SOUL!!!!

Hello Beautiful Souls—Since i last found you much has happened!!! I became a grandmother again (Amen) My daughters beautiful daughter is pure magic to my soul. I left the insurance industry and went into training to be school bus driver, with intention of going full throttle and being a truck driver, switched gears and sold pest control for a little bit, then decided to return to being a nail technician. I have joined a nail salon in the mall and love for the first time in a long time what hell I am doing!!!

This go around i have a new blue tooth key board—wonderful as it might be it is a little bit of a challenge with half inch nails. But i am who i am and i am a much better me with my nails on.

What is LOVE. The unconditional commitment to another entity. Where no matter the timing, nor the sacrifice you are willing to do whatever it takes to care of what or whom ever you LOVE. Vivienne

To LOVE is to feel such a strong feeling for another that you can understand them in a way few can—their very existence…Urban Dictionary

We know in our bones that LOVE is not a feeling alone, but a feeling that flows into the world in action. Author unknown

In good times or bad times I will hold you tight or let you go. But I will always be there—to stand beside you, hold you up, fight with you in times of trial, fight for you in times of threat. Always have your back so you can focus on looking forward—take careful care of who you ARE, because like me—you are a beautiful energy in the universe that can’t be replaced. Vivienne

April 13, 1985——I was pregnant with our first child. But not due for three weeks—-BUT IT WAS APRIL 13 —right—so at 7:30 on that Saturday I unexpectedly had our son, Christian.

I was scheduled to have my rotten tonsils out on that Monday after Easter. Those things were so bad it took me months to have the infection gone long enough to even have the surgery, so I stayed the course. The extended family was taking care of the kids—all that could be done by me was to wait for the search to end. And it did the night I went into the hospital. Dad came to tell me they had found them. He sat at the end of my hospital bed and cried.

The next morning I had surgery.

Like a silent angel Mrs. Dr. stepped in and kept me fast asleep for a solid week.

Two motives. A. I was in shock over the lost people we loved.

B. OMG—the pain in my throat

But Mrs. Dr. kept me under for the whole week—I believe because of both accounts.

Everything was happening fast—-I focused on the kids. Things still were not certain—but the one thing we all knew was that the plane had went down.

Ann’s brother was in the Air Force—he was the first family member to arrive. The Air Force even participated in the inquiry. There was no flight plan registered—a common error with pilots that had just gotten “their wings”. We had no idea where they went, what direction, or where anybody should look.

By noon everything was chaos—the three kids were told the plane had went down. Jim bolted from the house to the edge of the woods. I said someone should go after him—but no one did—there was too much going on. So I went. What could I say? For that matter—-what did I say? I don’t know, I don’t remember.

The time that followed was deeply sad. It was 3 or 4 days before they found the wreckage. All three had perished.

The phone in my room rings—who could this be? It was Jim the second oldest of Ann and Mike.

Vivienne, mom and dad didn’t come home, we don’t know what to do!

SHOCK—KEEP COOL

Oh Jim honey I’ll be right there!!!

I left the house fast—not even waking mom and dad—had to get to the kids fast!

When I got to Ann and mikes house the oldest three were pretty worked up. I told them I would figure it out and in the mean time—they had to be hungry. I started making them something to eat while I quietly called MY parents—

Good God———WHAT MADE ME BEHAVE SOOOO MATURELY!!!! Staying calm and focused on the kids while there was so much going wrong!

My parents made calls from their house so that the kids were not upset any further—-but this wasn’t going to be good. My heart still aches!

Forever the number 13 would follow me and mine.

This post was suppose have been done on April 13, but you see I was busy celebrating my sons 34 birthday.

It’s important for me to break the timeline for a bit—but I’ll fill it in later.

April 13,1979–things had moved along with Leo and I. In fact we were engaged. The wedding was set for August 4, 1979. It was Good Friday and my Grandmother and great Aunt Thelma were coming in from Illinois for the weekend. Aunt Thelma was a great cake decorator—in fact she lent some of it to me (more later).

She brought with her the album she had of all of the cakes she had done and we were to pick out our wedding cake, as it was the family tradition for Thelma to family cakes.

They had just arrive and were getting out of the car when Ann and Mike and their youngest son where coming down the hill. They stopped to say hello and mentioned they were going to take their private Cessna airplane for a final flight as they were trading it in the next day for another. Off they went—

The rest of us went into the house and after visiting a bit we began looking at the cake album.

Sorry it’s sideways.

Oh around an hour later I went out to grams car to get something for her—I looked up and there was the strangest weather front moving in. To this day I can see it clear as day in my mind. 7:30pm

This was probably the first time my third eye opened—I didn’t like it, I didn’t understand it—so I went back inside to the family.

The evening progressed well. We all visited well into the night.

First families are the best! Right off I started babysitting for this one family. Two pretty cool parents and 4 kids. I continued to take care of them— until they were ——-some place else.

5 years actually. I started when I was 14. The kids were young and for that matter so was I. We sorta grew up together. I was more like a big sister—my heart glows warm when I think of them—all 6 of them.

Mike worked for that highfalutin company and Ann was a busy stay at home mom. Plus they got into building homes.

At first I just babysat, but then I started keeping house for them too. Great times with those characters. But daggone they sure did take a lot to keep up with. I’d no sooner vacuum the carpet and they’d come in and dump a pile of sand on it 🤦‍♀️

Eventually I started doing the clean up in the newly built houses. They weren’t small homes either—plus they kept getting bigger. But I learned a lot and paid attention. I know—what was there to pay attention to? Painting walls, baseboards, trim. House layout.

But I want to stay with the family for now—- at one point they sold their current home and had not yet finished the next one. This called for a solution. So mike bought a good size—though not large, camper and parked it on a future house seat. What was suppose to take a couple of months to finish the new house, turned into 6 months—ughhh I thought I was going to pop!! Maybe it was a year or 5–it seemed forever. The camper stunk from just too many people in it. The kids were getting cagey too.

At Christmas I was watching them while Mike and Ann went out. The two oldest were really cranked up. That was the only time I ever spanked someone else’s kid. Dave was the oldest—and pushing buttons because he was figuring he was getting too old for me to tell him what to do. The whole camper was shaking from the ruckus. No warning was going to settle them down. Sooo he got a couple of butt swats.

When Mike and Ann got home they were pretty upset with those kids as they knew that for as long as I had watched them there had never been reason for such! I felt bad because I loved those kids… Mike said from now on “what ever vivienne says you do! If she says jump—you say how high!!”

Well none of that went on ever again and we finally got them into their next house. Just in time to start on the big house. 🤷‍♀️ I don’t know—the biggest house. Anyway—